Better off Alone?

Do you ever wonder if you’d be better off alone?

It’s one of those thoughts that quietly follows us through life — the kind we rarely say out loud, but often feel in our bones.

You might think, “Yeah, sometimes I do.”

And then, almost instantly, the fear hits.

What would that actually mean? Why is this thought even in my head? What am I so afraid of if I let it happen?

The Fear Behind the Question

For most of us, that fear isn’t really about being alone.

It’s about what being alone would force us to face — ourselves.

Silence, truth, responsibility, the parts of us we’ve hidden behind relationships.

I’ve wrestled with that question for decades.

I’ve been in long relationships, and for years I thought I was doing the right thing — loving, giving, supporting, staying.

But deep down, I always knew I was better off alone.

Not because I didn’t love.

But because when I’m alone, I trust myself again.

My intuition gets louder.

My empathy — which has often been my strength and my curse — stops pulling me in every direction.

The Mirror of My Relationships

It took me years to see it clearly:

I kept ending up in relationships that mirrored my childhood — the same emotional chaos, the same need to please, the same fear of abandonment.

Each partner became another reflection of my early wounds — especially the toxic dynamic I had with my mother.

And because I hadn’t yet healed those wounds, I repeated them.

Over and over.

That’s what trauma does.

It recreates the familiar, even when it hurts, because the familiar feels safe.

What If the Real Question Isn’t “Better Off Alone?”

So maybe the real question isn’t whether you’d be better off alone.

Maybe it’s:

Why do I keep finding myself in situations where I feel trapped — and why does leaving still scare me more than staying?

The adult part of us knows what’s healthy.

But the wounded part still believes that love must be earned, that peace must be paid for, and that being alone is proof of failure.

It’s not.

Being alone isn’t failure — it’s freedom.

Freedom to rebuild trust with yourself.

Freedom to listen to your own voice again.

Freedom to stop repeating stories that aren’t yours anymore.

If This Speaks to You

If this resonates — if you feel trapped between wanting peace and fearing it — maybe it’s time to stop running from yourself.

Book a free Clarity Call with me. https://calendly.com/youinprogress/discoverycall

Thirty minutes.

Online.

In English, German, French, or Luxembourgish.

Sometimes one honest conversation is all it takes to start writing a different story.

AlekMartin aka WhiteTrashRoyal.com